Why I'll no Longer be Asking Permission
Sometimes, I take a moment and jot down my feelings about life and work. These short poetry inspired journal entries are comprised of fragmented thoughts, memories, and notes-to-self that allow me to move forward purposfully and passionately.
The first entry I’ll be sharing with you is titled, “I’ll No Longer be Asking Permission”. Feel free to read through or to hit play on the audio journal below.
In the comments, let me know when you decided to stop asking permission and pledged to do what was best for you, personally and professionally?
When it comes to me doubting my work, my next steps or that passion project in the back of my heart, my first thought is how can I tell God no? Who am I to tell him what I cannot do? My creator, my companion and my confidant. I think how dare I defy him by stifling my greatness, slowing my progression, and holding up his work.
In these moments I catch myself holding tight to doubt and seeking validation. Validation from who, you ask? Validation from anyone that's going to tell me it's ok to proceed. Awaiting permission to take on the BRILLIANCE that not only predates me but predates any man's doubt, or approval of my life. The brilliance that is my own. I own it. I birthed it. I nurtured it and manifested it into what stands before you today.
And then I ask myself, “How can I not push?” I was born to push! Past what anyone thinks and even beyond what I believe.
Many of us pray, "God, please use me", but when the time comes to be a vessel, a vehicle or a vicarious example of a God-given muse we cower in fear at his calling. We profess self-doubt as if it's all we know and procrastinate his plan as if it were ours to halt.
"Only God knows", my mother used to say, assured always that he was forever present and all knowing. This is what she taught me. Where did my faith go? When did I begin to idolize myself, so much so, that my self-deprecating voice resounded louder in my mind and heart than his?
Mastering authenticity is just like anything else. It takes time and consistency. Dedication and awareness. Faith, decisiveness and bravery. However, it does not require permission. I will no longer be asking permission. My greatness and my glory have, in fact, never required permission.